Naruto Weather Rhapsody
by Blue Phoenix135790
Summary: During the Training Trip, Naruto is somehow sucked into the events of Scarlet Weather Rhapsody! Why did I even do this crossover in the first place... Pairings only if you squint while wearing glasses.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Well, it's happened. I've created another Naruto crossover fic. With Touhou. It was bound to happen. This takes place during the timeskip.

...I've skipped disclaimers before. Why stop now?

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><p>Naruto was having a good day. It had been a year and a half since he had left on his training trip, and it was going amazing so far. He had grown about three inches, lost some baby fat, and changed his signature bullet-target orange jumpsuit to one still with orange, but with more black as well. He had learned a new jutsu, and had improved his Taijutsu. His Genjutsu still sucked ass thanks to the Kyuubi, however.<p>

But anyways, Naruto had deserved a break, and Jiraiya had left him to go find a bathhouse to peek into. So, going off towards a large waterfall, he laid down next to a large river. It was such a nice day as well, with the sun out, but still with some clouds, and a nice breeze to go along with it. It was the perfect weather to fall asleep to. So he did.

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><p>Komachi Onozuka was not having a good day. First, her boss, Shikieiki, had yelled at her for slacking off again. She had deserved the nap, dammit! It was so slow today!<p>

Second, the only soul that she did get today was a complete bastard, and no one had missed him when he died. Because she had made the boat go nowhere, she threw the bastard off. The soul drowned in the river, and it returned to its original width.

And third, it was so hard to see with this huge amount of mist! She could hardly ferry her own boat, and it was really starting to piss her off! Finally, she made it to the other end of the river, the mortal side, and found a large lump of orange and black (What was he, a Halloween youkai?) waiting on the other side. Well, not really waiting. More like sleeping.

Growling in annoyance, she was about to slam her scythe's handle into his stomach, when she suddenly caught herself and woke him up by shaking him gently.

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><p>"Hey... Hey kid... Wake up." Odd... Naruto had never heard that voice before... Yawning slightly, he opened his eyes to find a teenage girl looking at him. She had red eyes, and had short pinkish red hair with two ponytails tied by two double hair beads. She wore a mostly blue dress with a white dress over it, with some blue vest-like thing over the white dress. Over it was a light brown obi belt with a golden coin tied over it. She was in a wooden rowboat, and held a scythe with the blade shaped like a wave.<p>

"Good, you're awake. Now, if you can get in the boat, we can get you across the Sanzu quicker, and I can have my nap." Naruto blinked in confusion. The Sanzu? As in, the Sanzu no Kawa? The River of Death? He died?

"Wait, I'm dead?" Naruto asked stupidly. This was the wrong question, apparently, as the girl just growled in annoyance.

"Yes, you stupid little mortal. You're dead, and as I am the Guide of the Sanzu River, my job is to take you to Hell. Now get in." The edge in her voice was clear.

"Um... Lady, no offense, but... I'm not really dead..." Said Naruto, as he realized that, yes, he was alive. This only made the girl angrier. For some reason, she looked kinda cute when she was angry...

"WHAT?" She screamed. "Dammit! First I get yelled at by Lady Shikieiki for no reason, then that bastard makes my job harder for no reason, and then YOU show up, and now this fog STILL won't clear up!" As she was talking, a thick, wet mist rolled in, hugging the ground, but still fogging up the air.

Naruto was surprised at the weather changing so rapidly, and according to the Shikigami before him (At least he thought she was; she worked in the Sanzu no Kawa, and she had a scythe), it was like this all morning. "But that's impossible!" He protested. "It's been a perfect day ever since I woke up. If anything, you must've changed the weather in order to mess with my head!" It was the only way this made sense to him, so he went with that theory.

The girl laughed. "Perfect? You call this terrible weather 'perfect'?" But then a small detail about Naruto's accusation seemed to strike her. "And what do you mean, I changed the weather? Are you accusing me of something? Well then, take this!"

Then the girl jumped onto the land, a few feet from Naruto, and threw what looked like multicolored coins at him. Naruto, seeing them as projectile weapons, threw some kunai at them, knocking them out of the air. The girl looked surprised at the kunai before throwing more coins at him while charging, scythe drawn. Naruto continued countering with kunai (and even some shuriken and senbon) before reaching her. Eventually, they reached each other, and Naruto started to fight with some Taijutsu while the girl started blocking with her scythe's blade.

After about three minutes of fighting like this, the girl jumped back and took out a small card marked with light blue kanji. She then held it in front of her and shouted "Lonely Bound Spirit!" Suddenly, a small, harmless-looking... Thing... Shot out of the card and flew towards Naruto. As it wasn't directly attacking him, he charged at the girl.

Then the thing exploded.

Luckily for Naruto, he was out of range of the blast. While he stood shocked, the girl pulled out another card (This one imprinted with aquamarine blue Kanji) and shouted "Nautical Sign: Flow of the River!" and jumped into her boat.

Some water from the Sanzu River then flowed towards Naruto, carrying the girl in her boat towards him. He didn't turn around in time, and was struck in the back with the bow of the boat. As he turned around, he was struck in the front by the jutsu (At least that's what he thought it was) again.

Naruto growled, and finally made some hand seals before ending in his signature one. "I'll show you! Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" He shouted as he multiplied into at least 500 clones.

This actually caused the girl to stop before taking out another card (This one with Kanji the color of Sakura's hair) and yelling "Spirit Sign: Awakening of the Ancient Earthbound Spirits!" She stood still for a moment, waiting for the clones to come towards her before striking the ground with her scythe's handle.

This time, the ground exploded. With a pink aura.

This destroyed at least 10 percent of the clones, but they kept coming at her. The girl charged at them, thinking them to be an illusion, but was suddenly pummeled by real fists, to her shock. She then struck the ground again, causing another pink explosion that Naruto jumped away from. Seeing a small opening, he threw a large amount of kunai and shuriken, with most of them actually hitting the girl. She cried out in pain before falling over. She then jumped up and held up a card similar to the last one, and shouted out "Death Sign: Scythe that Chooses the Dead!" She then raised her scythe above her head.

A pink aura surrounded Naruto.

She struck the ground with her scythe blade.

The ground beneath Naruto exploded with another pink aura.

Unfortunately for the girl, it was another clone. She then heard an odd sound behind her and saw Naruto holding a medicine ball-sized orb in his hand with a clone shaping the basic form. Before she could react, the clone flung Naruto at her before disappearing, and Naruto shouted out "RASENGAN!" before striking her in the gut with it. To her, it hurt. Like. Hell. She then fell down, unconscious.

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><p>Komachi woke up to a large splash of water to her face. Thinking it was Shikieiki again, she jumped up and shouted "I'm sorry, boss! I'll get back to my job! I wasn't sleeping at all!"<p>

"Eh? Boss? Even if I beat you in the fight, you don't have to call me that..." Said an unfamiliar, but familiar voice.

Komachi looked towards the voice and saw the kid she thought was a soul that had beaten her soundly. "What do YOU want?" She asked a bit rudely. "Are you here to rub my defeat in my face?"

"Eh?" The kid looked surprised at this. Now that she wasn't fighting him, she could see how he looked. He had spiky blond hair, blue eyes, and, oddly enough, whisker marks on each of his cheeks, making him look like a fox (And also making Komachi wonder if this kid was somehow related to Ran Yakumo, but the idea quickly died). He had on a bright orange jumpsuit with large patches of black, and a headband with a metal plate over his forehead. A spiral symbol vaguely resembling a leaf was etched on the metal part. "-And so I wanted to see if you were alright." She had forgotten he was talking. She then had a slight blush on her face after realizing that he was concerned for her well-being.

Men are rare in Gensokyo, after all.

"Eh? Are you there-tebayo?" Dammit, she zoned out.

"I'm fine." She answered in a happier tone. "Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot, you know, with me having a bad day and taking it out on you. Let's start over." She held out her hand. "Hi, I'm Komachi Onozuka, the Ferryman- or Ferrywoman, in my case- of the Sanzu River. You are...?"

The boy returned the handshake. "Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage, dattebayo!" Interesting... What was a Hokage? "It's nice to meet you, Komachi-chan! Say, if you don't mind me asking, what were those fancy jutsu you were using to fight me?"

Komachi was confused. Jutsu? What? It sounded like something that hakutaku's friend's enemy would look for over the Internet. "I'm sorry, but what are Jutsu, and what is a Hokage?" She asked. The boy looked slightly shocked before explaining.

"Well, a jutsu is like what I was using during our fight." That was jutsu? She just assumed they were odd spell cards. "They are classified into three different categories: Ninjutsu, the Ninja Arts, which is what I was using, Taijutsu, the Physical Arts, which is basically what it is, and Genjutsu, the Illusionary Arts, which I suck at. The Hokage is the leader of Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, which I am a shinobi of." Shinobi? He was a ninja? Ninjas don't wear orange... "Now, what were those awesome jutsu you were using, tebayo?"

Komachi blinked before laughing a bit. "Silly, those weren't jutsu I was using. They were spell cards." Seeing his confused look, she answered before he even asked. "A spell card is like a jutsu, but we don't need to use those odd hand gestures you were using to make those clones." She held up a spell card. "This is a spell card. By shouting out the name of it..." She held it in front of herself and said "Ritual of Ecstasy". She was surrounded by an orb of pink aura. Suddenly, she switched places with Naruto. "Whatever is meant to happen with a spell card, happens. It's different for each one." She finished and saw Naruto blink for about three seconds before realization finally dawned on his face.

Komachi finally noticed something. "Hey... It isn't that foggy anymore... In fact, it's rather pleasant."

Naruto grinned. "See? It's the perfect day to take a nap to!"

Komachi laughed. "I couldn't agree more! I just might take a nap! Today's slow, anyways." She said before lying down and falling asleep, but not before thinking, _'A pleasant day? No... Perfect weather. This kid is a rare one. You don't see a lot of people with this kind of disposition anymore.'_ And with that Komachi took another nap.

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><p>Unlike Komachi, Naruto could see the red mist slowly coming off of his body and heading towards a large mountain that towered above the heavens. Confused, he ran towards the destination of the mist.<p>

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><p>Meanwhile, Reisen Udongein Inaba headed out to find out exactly why the sort of vapor you would find in cloud forests was constantly clinging to her person. But not before falling into another trap set by Tewi.<p>

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><p><strong>AN:** Aww, poor Reisen. No matter what, she's still a helpless little bunny, only good for sex appeal.

Yes, Naruto's first opponent was Komachi. Why?

...Why not?

I originally wanted her to give Naruto one of my original spell cards: Explosion Sign: "Fireworks". But I forgot it while I was writing... Sadface.

Also, for those who don't know, Komachi Onozuka's ability is to control distance, and she can use this in her job to make the Sanzu River either wider or shorter, depending on the amount of people that miss the departed. The more people miss you, the shorter the trip. If the amount somehow ends up in the negative, the boat will go nowhere, and Komachi-chan will throw you into the all-consuming waters of the Sanzu. :3

And if you watch any fight against Komachi in SWR, she does indeed attack you with small, multicolored orbs. I'll assume that they're coins due to their colors (Bronze, silver, and gold).

...This thing wouldn't be nearly half as long as it is now if not for the explanations and long-ass A/N... orz

REVIEW DAMMIT!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** **It's been a while, eh? So, sorry for the hiatus. I've just been working on two new projects. The first one, after reading Homestuck, is a crossover between Homestuck and Touhou (That will never be put here). The other one is a new Naruto fic "Naruto of the Black Sun" (Which I might post here). But, I've bored you long enough. ON WITH THE FIC!**

**Nothing belongs to nobody.**

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><p>Naruto looked around. He had been following the odd red mist that had been coming off of his body into a large bamboo forest.<p>

This would be nice, if he hadn't gotten completely lost as soon as he entered.

Not only this, but now the red mist was completely invisible. Naruto couldn't see where he was going now, and now the entrance was gone as well. It was amazingly annoying.

Sighing, Naruto just flopped onto the ground, looking up at the bits of sky he could see through the thick cover of bamboo leaves. He then began to figure out how the hell he could escape from this forest.

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><p>Reisen Udongein Inaba could barely see in front of her, thanks to the weird light mist surrounding her. This was a bad thing, because usually, if there was a mist in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, you usually were lost until several days later, when the immortal, Fujiwara no Mokou, would find and save you.<p>

Of course, considering the relationship between Mokou and her master, the girl would probably not even try to help her.

Reisen sighed. First, Eirin tested a new medicine on her that made her eyes pink with white centers. Then the Internet cut off, giving her master an amazing amount of rage. Then, this mist showed up. Then Tewi trapped her (again), and that took about an hour to get out of. Now she was lost.

This was just not her day.

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><p>Suddenly, Naruto heard a rustling in the bamboo, and, acting on instinct, threw a kunai straight towards the undergrowth. This caused the person(?) to let out a small yelp and to fall down.<p>

Satisfied, Naruto went over to the bushes and found... Rabbit ears?

Thinking he had killed yet another innocent bunny out of pure shock, he grabbed the ears and held the poor creature's head in his chest, all the while crying "I'm sorry, little bunny! I'm sorry! Dattebayo!"

Suddenly, Naruto heard a muffled voice talking. He looked down, and saw that he was, in fact cradling in his arms, a teenage-looking girl with long, light-purple hair. Letting go in shock, he winced as the girl fell to the ground.

"Owww..." She moaned, and sat up. She had on a white short-sleeved with a red necktie, a red belt, and a blue skirt. As mentioned before, her hair was rather long, and was light purple. Her eyes seemed to be an odd color: light pink, with white centers. However, her most distinctive characteristic was her long, rumpled white rabbit ears that seemed to be attached to her head with... _buttons_?

"Oh... Sorry, 'tebayo..." Said Naruto sheepishly, helping her up.

The rabbit girl stood up, shaking her head. "It's alright... It's just that today's not really my day..."

Naruto looked at her in sympathy, and asked, "Hey, what's your name? I wanna help you at some point."

The girl looked at him and replied, "My name is Reisen Udongein Inaba. Just call me Reisen." She said. "Could you tell me your name?" She asked.

"Naruto Uzumaki, dattebayo!" Replied Naruto. "The bigger question is, what are you doing here?"

Reisen looked at Naruto again, but this time looking at him as if he was just plain stupid. "I live here." She stopped, and then tried to explain more. "Not really in the forest, but in a mansion in the forest called Eientei."

Naruto thought about the name, and then replied. "I've never heard of the place." He then became aware of the red mist coming off of Reisen, and the regular mist slowly beginning to gather. "Aha! So you're a source of this as well!" He cried.

Reisen looked startled. "What? B-But I haven't done anything wrong!" She cried, but then she noticed the mist gathering around her. It was too late by that time, as Naruto had thrown some kunai straight at her. Reisen, using her natural rabbit-like agility, jumped over them.

Two things happened at that point.

The first thing was that Reisen held out her hand in an odd position that looked like a misshapen half-Tiger seal (The entire fist closed, but with the thumb and index finger sticking straight out). She then literally shot oddly shaped bullets out of her finger towards Naruto, which he promptly dodged.

The second was that her eyes returned to their natural color: red. Now, while this didn't affect Reisen in any way (She still thought her eyes were the color the suspicious medicine made them), it made Naruto momentarily freeze up, thinking she was really someone like Itachi Uchiha: equipped with the infamous Sharingan, and a hell of a lot more dangerous than one should really be.

He was half right, sadly.

So, out of pure self defense (after being pelted by about three of the "bullets"), Naruto threw several shuriken straight at Reisen, making her fall to the ground willingly (To Naruto's amazement) in an attempt to dodge them.

She didn't think that Naruto would throw senbon into her legs after she landed.

But he did, and she fell down to the ground. And thus, "Uchiha" Reisen was defeated.

Or so it seemed.

As soon as she fell down, Reisen jumped up again and held out a spell card. Naruto jumped back, preparing for the worst.

"Charming Look: Corolla Vision!" She cried out, before her eyes glowed and sent out two sets of scarlet rings shot out of her eyes.

Naruto instinctively flinched when they hit but he didn't feel any physical pain. Of course, Reisen took this time to land on the ground and kick Naruto in the stomach.

Now, what many people probably don't realize is that rabbits tend to have naturally strong hind legs. This goes for Lunar Rabbits like Reisen especially, who take advantage of the odd gravitational force on the Moon (The Lunar Capital has no such affliction) to practice their jumping skills.

Of course, when Reisen fled from the Moon, she had to learn to deal with Earth's gravity, but she was soon able to jump as high as she was able to originally.

Continuing on with the plot, Naruto had fallen down, and was trying to get back up when he was again struck by the crimson fake-out. Recovering, Naruto just started throwing his many weapons at the rabbit girl. Eventually, the girl just got so tired he had to rest.

And that was when Naruto actually took one of the bamboo stalks surrounding them and hit her on the head with it.

Naturally, Reisen jumped back up after a few seconds (Eirin's medicines did wonders) and held out another spell card, this time shouting out "Phantasmal Bullet: Bluff Barrage!" And shooting out a large crimson wave throughout the forest.

Suddenly, the air was filled with an amazing amount of metallic bullets, and Naruto started jumping to avoid them all. Naruto froze up a bit when he realized that there were simply too many bullets to possibly dodge them all, but then they literally went _right through_ him.

And that was the moment when Reisen started shooting lasers from her eyes.

Now, unlike the illusionary bullets, the lasers WERE real, and they spread out when they hit something. So, it came as no surprise that Naruto was taken by surprise, and was shot several times by the lasers.

As he fell to the ground, Reisen ended her illusion, thinking that she had won.

This was clearly not the case, as Naruto suddenly pulled out a scroll, and summoned a fuuma shuriken. While Reisen was blinking at the large throwing star, Naruto did what he was supposed to do with such a huge weapon: Throw it at whoever was pissing him off.

Obviously, Reisen was caught off guard by such an enormous weapon being thrown her way, and tried to dodge. Luckily, she somehow managed to graze the weapon, but a blade managed to catch her on her arm, making her cry out in shock before falling to the ground.

She wasn't done yet, however, and held up another spell card, and shouted out "Phantasmal Rabbit: Parallel Cross!" She then moved by so fast that she left afterimages, most of them in the air. To Naruto, however, it just seemed like she had created Shadow Clones, so, naturally, he did what was second nature to him.

Create sixteen times the amount of clones his opponent did.

Reisen actually stopped this time in wonder at the sheer amount of doppelgangers. Her afterimages, however, began shooting actual bullets, mostly in rings.

They were overwhelmed by the sea of orange in about three minutes.

During those three minutes, the real Naruto had actually tackled Reisen onto the ground, and began punching her. Reisen managed to punch back, but by the time the illusory rabbits had disappeared, she had passed out from exhaustion.

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><p>Naruto leaned against a large boulder, glad that he won, when all of a sudden, he heard slow clapping.<p>

"Not bad, kid," Began a rough, yet somehow calm and fiery voice, "You managed to beat that annoying bunny. Not everyone can beat HER."

Naruto turned to see another girl, but with long, silvery-white hair with fire talismans tied into them, and dark red pants with matching overalls and similar talismans over a charred shirt that actually didn't have the talismans. She had red eyes, and smelled slightly of smoke.

"My name's Mokou," Continued the lady, "And I was on my way to kill her owner," she pointed at Reisen. "For the billionth time. And what do I see while I'm avoiding that damned rabbit's traps?" Naruto blinked. This girl didn't seem to be the type to set traps… "Some knucklehead, beating her best guard with little more than a few knives. Rather awesome." She gave a slight grin.

"Oh. Well then, of course it was awesome! I'm gonna be Hokage, so I gotta be that strong! Dattebayo!" Naruto shouted in cheer.

Mokou winced at the volume of his voice. "Whatever. Look, you're obviously lost, so I'll show you a quick way out of the forest." As she said this, her hand became engulfed by fire, and she threw the fireball in the direction behind her.

It exploded.

It incinerated most of the bamboo, so it actually created a clear path to some sort of village.

Naruto blinked again. Then he turned to his savior and grinned. "Thanks, lady!" He said before running in the direction of the village.

Mokou looked on as she thought, '"Fire Shadow"? … Hm. Sounds like a fitting job for me. Maybe I'll ask him how to become one when I make sure Kaguya's fully dead.' She moved deeper into the forest.

Then she fell into a pit made by Tewi.

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><p>Meanwhile, Youmu Konpaku sighed as she took her mistress, Yuyuko Saigyouji, to the Human Village to buy more food. However, what caught her eye was the constant vacillation between blue skies and snow wherever they walked. And so, she went to investigate.<p>

After she finished grocery shopping, that is.

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><p>*** OMAKE ***<p>

"Good job, kid. Not everyone can survive fighting Reisen." Said a rough female voice behind him.

Naruto turned around. Leaning against a large rock was a girl that had long, silvery-white hair with fire talismans tied into them, and dark red pants with matching overalls and similar talismans over a charred shirt that actually didn't have the talismans. She had red eyes, and smelled slightly of smoke. "Who are you?" He asked.

"The name's Fujiwara no Mokou." She said, yawning. "What's your name, kid?"

"I'm not a kid..." He muttered before answering, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki! The future Hokage, dattebayo!"

"Yeah, yeah, I could care less about your life story. Look, have you seen a toy truck? I know I left it here somewhere..." Mokou seemed to like trucks.

"Uh..." Naruto pointed to Reisen's body, where a little rabbit girl with short black hair, a pink dress, black eyes, and a carrot charm necklace took a toy truck out of Reisen's gun holster and ran off. Mokou's eyes widened.

"Kaguya." She muttered.

"Nani?" Asked Naruto.

"Kaguya..." Mokou seemed to shake with rage.

Naruto took a step back.

"KAGUYA!" She yelled, before sprouting wings of fire and flying towards the little bunny. Naruto stared at where she had gone before realizing something.

"Hey! How do I get out of here?" He called.

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><p>Later, Kaguya was being launched towards the moon in a rocket shouting "CURSE YOU, MOKOU!" while said pyrokinetic was happily playing with her toy truck.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: So, as apology, I gave you an omake. With Kaguya and Mokou. And their tr(/w)uck.**

**God, what am I doing with my life.**

**So, you know the drill. Blah-blah-blah. review. It's 6:17 where I am, and I want to sleep.**


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